Ranting about everyone and everything in the world.

There are 61,838,154 people living in the United Kingdom. Let's assume that 50% are male, and 50% are female. That would mean that 30,919,077 of each sex in the country I type this from. I would like one of them, just one of them, to take an interest in me. Say some nice things to me and treat me in such a way that I no longer feel like a hideous wreck of a man. Is this too much to ask? Yes. Am I bothered? Yes. Am I going to let it get to me? No.

You see, it's taken me a LONG fucking time to reach this level of enlightenment, but here I am. Women, friends, money, love... it all comes and goes. At the moment, it all seems to only be doing the latter in my life. But here's the motherfucking thing: Life is a god-damn rollercoaster ride filled with ups and downs. My time will come, and if you're reading this, and you feel the same: Your time will come too.

I often think back to about 3 years ago, to this one moment in my life. I was on the bus back from college, and I thought to myself: "My life is absolutely perfect at the moment. I am genuinely completely happy." - And believe me, at that point, I wouldn't have changed a fucking thing in the world. I had a girlfriend, I was in love, I was doing well in college, I had two jobs and more money than I needed. I had friends coming out of my ears and my days at college were filled with constant laughing and work I genuinely enjoyed.

Fast-forward to now: I'm a uni student who fucked up his first year by not understanding electronics, with an assignment due along with 3 resits. If I fail: I'm fucked. I'm in a stupid amount of debt for my age, and my old friends either don't like me anymore or I don't really want to associate myself with & since my ex-girlfriend who broke up with me over 2 years ago, not a single fucking girl has wanted anything to do with me that doesn't extend beyond a fucking hug.

I mean, that's a fucking horrendously pessimistic view to take on my life at the moment, I failed to mention that I'm clearing up the debt slowly but surely, I've got some fucking AMAZING flatmates, course mates and friends. I don't have a girlfriend draining any of my money & frankly; I'm actually still pretty happy.

But right now, I'm on the fucking roller-coaster as it's climbing to the second peak. When I get up there, it's going to drop, everyone's going to be screaming and it's going to be a fucking amazing ride to the next trough. But then what? I'm back to the bottom again, and I need to get back on the fucking ride. Why should I be the whiny cunt that complains all the time because I need to wait to get back to the top? Fuck that shit. That part of my life is over.

You may have started reading this thinking "Oh for fuck sake, it's another 'woe is me' post.". But you're one of the better ones; you're reading onto this point. This is the fucking peak right here. Let's skip some time climbing the fucking ride by remembering that we're on it on the first place. No matter how much shit comes at you in life, remember that it's going to get better. I promise you. Life promises you.

Now, let's move this onto talking about some of the cunts you get in life. The so called 'friends' that just up and leave when the going get's tough. You know the ones I mean... the ones who are always around when you're doing great, or they're not. But as soon as your life gets turned upside down, they're nowhere in sight. Actually, what about the complete pricks that only look out for themselves, or getting the next piece of arse that walks by.  These people are not your 'friends'. They're not even your fucking enemies. These people are not even fucking people. They're sub-human, parasitic fucking life-forms, devoid of any emotion.

The worst thing about these people, is that you may not even notice they are these kind of people until they bend you over and rape you from behind. But you know what? Don't worry about it. Even for one fucking second. At all. Please, don't. Wanna know why? I'll tell you why.

You know those old people? The *really* cantankerous ones? You sure? Think really hard: You may have bumped into them as a kid, they might have shouted at you. Or perhaps tutted at you in line for something. Or been rude to you in a shop? How about the ones you try really nicely to be polite to, but it seems to piss them off even more? Yeah. Them. You know who I mean. Well, want to know a secret? The reason they're like that is that they treated everyone like they were less than them for their entire lives. Now they're alone and unhappy. So what do we do? Treat them like shit because that's how the treat us? They're rude, treat them the same, right? Wrong. When you encounter these people, I want you to be extra fucking nice to them, I mean more polite to these people than you are to anyone else you encounter. Why? Because we should PITY them. They learned too late, or maybe even not at all that you get nowhere for only looking out for yourself.

Without blowing my own trumpet, or being intentionally arrogant/big-headed: I am a good guy. Nay, fuck that. A GREAT fucking guy. If you're my friend, I look out for you 100%. If I can feasibly do something for you to make your life better, or make you smile, I'll do it. And in return, people are really fucking great to me too. People lend me money for the pub (I pay them back) and Download Festival (Thanks for the £270, Mary! I told you you'd get it back as soon as I got paid!). People get me 40% discounts on my phone contract (Thank you so fucking much, Emily. <3). People offer me rare as shit tickets to see Corey Taylor in a very small and personal audience at cost price (KC-Dru, I owe you so much for that <3<3). People will talk to me for hours and hours (Davanzo <3). Hell, I have friends in Fakenham (my hometown, you idiot) who I've barely had time to speak to when I was at uni. I get back, the first night I get back, they give me the best welcome ever, and now it's like I never left. These people are friends for fucking life. If I could do something for you guys ( and more of you, just don't want to make this too long. :P), I would do it. Here goes: *deep breath* You're not just my friends, collectively, you make me who I am. I love you all and I am incredibly happy to have you all in my life. Thank you so much.

I think that's actually a fairly nice place to leave it to be honest, but I'll throw in a few mini-points:

Try and think of your friends: When backed into a corner, will they still be the nice person you see them as, or will they be a cunt and fight dirty so they come out on top?

If you woke up in the morning, and all your friends were gone, who would you miss the most? I.e. if you could save one, who would it be? And if you can think of someone (not everyone will be able to, I can't), maybe you should let them know how much they mean to you? Even if it's a little bro-mosexual. :P

Also, going back to the roller-coaster metaphor: I'm getting up to the top now. I don't know what it'll take to get me there, and I don't care. I'm here to embrace whatever may come. Yeah, sometimes I get down because I feel lonely in terms of still being single, but you know what? I may not be an attractive person physically, but (back to the self-gratification) I'm a fucking beautiful person mentally. Even though I'm (as described by a colleague at work today) "a little odd".

Remember: Roller-coaster.