My Long Distance Relationship (LDR) thus far

So, here we go. This is kind of a little overdue, or is it?

For those of you who don't know, I'm currently in an LDR with a very, very amazing woman called Kate, and I have been in it for over 5 months. She's absolutely incredible. I actually don't think that there are many people on the planet who are amazing enough to get me to fall in love with them without even having met them in person before. But Kate? Kate pulled it off alright. If we're not texting, we're skyping or talking on Viber.

It's been a weird journey. When we started, I'm not going to lie: I thought it was stupid. I thought it would end in upset, that it was naive, overly optimistic and kind of immature. I mean, I had an online girlfriend for about 2 weeks when I was 14. Back then I thought it was really cool, but until I found Kate (or rather, she found me), I wouldn't consider it an actual relationship so much as something stupid I did in my early teenage years. In fact I would consider it stupid and pointless. But after a rocky start of me breaking up with her, realising that I really cared for here already and then receiving a letter that bought a tear to my eye (shut up), I decided to give it another go. A real shot. It turns out giving it another shot has been on of the greatest decisions of my life.

Since being with Kate, I feel like I've grown (and not just from the lack of exercise due to being on Skype all the time). I've grown emotionally, I've grown in maturity and I've grown more as person in the last 5 months than I did in the 5 years before meeting Kate. I'm still a really bad elitist in the sense of not giving interests outside of my comfort zone a shot, but now I'm realising that this is an issue I need to address, and I'm really trying my hardest to address it. That's what life, relationships and growing is about.

I've also been happier. The people I live with and speak to regularly have all commented on it. All of them. And by extension, I'm a better person to be around, I feel. Yeah, I may talk about Kate more than I should which might make me more boring, but so what? At least I'm not still off pulling "Jacobs" or complaining that I'm miserable. I now have someone to really keep me grounded in my life. Someone that makes me happy, and someone that I can care for, who cares for me. Someone who is shaping me into a better human being. One that doesn't dismiss art because I find it boring, someone who doesn't refuse to watch something because it's in black and white, someone who doesn't dismiss things just because I've not heard of them.

The thing is, being with Kate has SIGNIFICANTLY altered my perception of life, my outlook on things and the way I look at myself. I have confidence now and I have someone who genuinely cares about me to reassure me when I'm doing badly at something I care about. Working at Morrisons over Summer was miserable for me, but Kate made it bearable for me, as well as working full time herself, living 3,209 miles away and being under a lot of stress herself.

And my friends have all been really supportive. Well, not ALL, but we'll get to that.

When I first got into my LDR, I went home a few days later for Easter. I remember telling all my friends back home about it and it had a kind of mixed reaction. Some friends were straight out accepting and happy for me, which to be honest, really genuinely surprised me. One of them laughed at me. The rest were happy for me, but also warning me to be careful that I don't get hurt. The people who were worried saw me over Summer and are actually now all aboard the Kate-train. My family also: before I told them I was worried what they would think. I was worried what a lot of people would think before I realised I don't really care what other people think. This is my life, I call the shots. And I'm extremely confident that this was the right shot to call. But my friends and my family have all been incredibly supportive. And for that, I thank you.

But of course, the haters:

A month or two after getting into the LDR, a girl who I speak to ever now and then texted me, saying something along the lines of it being hilarious that I've not even met my girlfriend in person and it's just a joke. I told her it was my own choice and I was happy, then blocked her from Facebook/Twitter and deleted her number from my phone. A little strong maybe, but this is a girl who lives for going out at the weekends to get drunk and have sex with practical strangers. I try not to be judgemental, but it's hard sometimes. I actually feel sorry for her. But there's more to this story: This girl I know through an ex-coursemate, who lives in a houseful of people on the same course. This ex-coursemate has made a few little snide remarks here and there about the entire situation on my facebook.

It culminated a week or so ago, when Kate jokingly engaged me over Facebook and I accepted for 6 hours.  This ex-coursemate posted "HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA" onto the relationship status on Facebook. I ignored it, because frankly, I'm not going to bother arguing with someone who likes to record his female friends in the shower about being in a happy relationship. But I digress. The real kicker was that EVERYONE who lives with him and is a mutual friend "liked" his post on the relationship status.

What I don't understand, is why a) they feel the need to try and take something away from my happiness, or b) why they don't just say something to me about it. It just confuses me, the mentality of some people.

Anyway, let's get back to a high. In less than one week (5 days, 4 hours, 35 minutes at time of writing), I am going to meet the person that I've fallen in love with in person for the first time. I've gone though all the phases; worry, excitement, nervousness, happiness, fear, etc etc etc. But now only two remain: Excitement and impatience. I'm going to meet her in Heathrow with a coffee exactly how she likes it waiting for her in my hand, we're going to kiss and then we're going to have an awesome trip with my amazing friends Reiss & Eddy back to Coventry. Over the course of her visit, we're going to spend 3 days in Paris, visit the Louvre and the Eiffel Tower. We're going to go on the Fresher's bar crawl, have a party and go to Alton Towers. Not to mention the little things like going out on dates, cooking for each other and all sorts of things. It's going to be worth the wait, I know it. The pictures will be phenomenal and the memories will never be matched. I've been sending her an email ever morning the weeks now; a countdown of 50 things I can't wait for when she's here and it's amazing when I think that those emails will become a reality very, very soon.

I'm actually glad I'm in an LDR. People take a lot of things for granted in relationships. Kate and I don't do that.  We appreciate every moment we get to Skype (to the point of even sleeping together on Skype), everything counts in an LDR. Seriously; try it out.

Oh, and one more thing, some people have been donating to us on our GoFundMe page (http://www.gofundme.com/xn2yg). It seriously means so much that people donate on there. I'm a Student and Kate can't afford more than a trip (two at an absolute push) a year. So the people that donate on that have really made a massive difference, and I can now ALMOST afford a trip to see her for New Years and her birthday. So thank you all so much, you're absolutely incredible. I will not forget who's donated and when I can afford to give you something in return.. <3 p="p">
Anyway, I've not made a blog in a while and I feel like a lot of this needed to be said.

Thanks for reading. <3 p="p">
- Spudguy