Romance isn't all it's cracked up to be,,,

So, most of the people that read this blog are generally in my age range. 90's kids. The best of the best. The elite. The current student generation, the vast majority of 'clubbers', pub-goers, video game players and tree-smokers. We grew up with Pokemon, Hey! Arnold, Catdog, Sonic the Hedgehog, Spongebob Squarepants (okay, maybe we were a little too old for that one), Disney Movies, 90's Pop. We saw the rise and fall of the Sega Megadrive, PS1, PS2, Xbox, Gamecube, Dreamcast, VHS, MSN... We've witnessed the birth of the commercialised Internet, Youtube, E-mail, MP3s, Torrents, Internet Piracy. I could go on and on.

The reason I point all this out, is that I wonder if the constant stream of media into our lives is affecting our outlook on life. Specifically that all important part of it: Romance.

If Disney taught us one thing, it's that there's such a thing as "true love". Which, I'm not even going to attempt to disagree with. I mean fuck it, it's real. There's no disagreeing with that at all. But one thing Disney didn't teach us is that love fucking hurts. I mean, it really fucking hurts. There are a LOT of my friends currently coming to realise this. Not even so much realise, as experience. Disney movies, Rom-coms and too many fucking pop songs like to go on about how amazing love is, and 9/10 times will leave us with a happy ending. Never to go back to "What happens if they fall out of love?". It's fucking bullshit. Even at the opposite end of the spectrum: Movies about break-ups, they're never *really* about breakups, are they? Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind, (500) Days of Summer, Forgetting Sarah Marshall are movies off the top of my head that all are supposedly about breakups. And my God, all three of them are PAINFULLY accurate, I mean Eternal Sunshine's beginning, where he's completely alone and lonely I relate to far too much, Forgetting Sarah Marshall makes me laugh at how unbelievably similar I was to the main character after his break up, and (500) Days is incredibly similar to my one and only relationship on several levels. If you've not seen them, stop reading here as there's going to be some spoilers (skip the next paragraph) and go watch them.

*SPOILERS FOR ABOVE MOVIES*
Here's the thing though, the endings to those movies, never happened to me. And I'm still waiting for them to happen:
Eternal Sunshine: After the memories were wiped, so they didn't remember each other, they got back together, it was "meant to be" and then the credits roll as they're going on a date (This might be wrong, haven't seen it in ages).
Forgetting Sarah Marshall: He wins the woman behind the desk when he's on Holiday.
(500) Days of Summer: One word: Autumn.

None of these things have ever happened for me, and they all end on a note implying that everything's going to be fine and work out. Okay, (500) Day's doesn't, that's about the Cycle repeating. But still.
*END OF SPOILERS*

Basically, my point is that romance does exist, it IS out there and it is real. But we've all been forced into believing from a young age, that everything's all love and happiness. It's fucking not. It's dark, lonely and bleak. The only thing that keeps us going is the idea of getting the next person to love.

But what happens if they don't love you back? If they're already taken? If they're not attracted to you? What movie do you watch then? What cheesy 90's song do you listen to then?


I've got to say, it's weird writing this now. Where I am in terms of my life as far as romance goes is that I'm quite content. Sure, I'd love to have someone to call "mine", to share my life with and to generally be in love with. I miss the meaningful kisses, the long cuddles and the talking for hours without getting bored. But you know what? I also like being able to do whatever the fuck I want, whenever the fuck I want, going wherever I want and talking to whoever I want without fear of jealousy. I also don't miss being jealous, or constantly worrying about a possible immanent break-up that probably won't happen for a long while. In the situation I'm in right now, I'm not sure what the fuck is going on. But even that slight glimmer of (most likely) misplaced optimism is enough to keep me going. Before I met this person, I didn't even have that and it was crushing. And you know what? There are only two outcomes: The optimism isn't misplaced and I end up being in a relationship with a beautiful, funny and wonderful woman. The other option is that I go back to how I was before we started talking, which although obviously not as nice, isn't as bad as it could be. I'll get by, and keep getting by until I find another woman to lock my target fixation upon. Rinse and repeat. This is my life now. It's a grind until I find my Autumn.

But here's the thing: We, as a generation believe that love is a MAJOR player to our lives. That it's the be all and end all of existence. But it's not. Plain and simple. It's not. We need to start living for ourselves, not for the hope of finding others. That's the secret to true happiness.

Anyway, to the people going through rough patches reading this, whether you're in love with someone and it's not reciprocated, you're going through a break-up or you've not had so much as a smile from a member of the opposite (or same if that's how you roll) sex in as long as you remember: Keep on rockin' on. It's not profound advice, it won't change your life, but you need to realise: Life is a fucking grind. It's like digging for treasure: You've got to go get through a hell of a lot of shit before you find the gold. And sometimes, you can be tricked into thinking something's gold when it's just fool's gold.

Friends are the best things in this life. They're all you really need. Friends and porn. Never forget your friends, and they'll never forget you. Happiness is only real when it's shared: Share it with them. You don't need romance to share happiness.

Smile.