Feed my will to feel this moment.

Ugh, work again today. I was at the papershop this morning, no problem with that. I enjoy the job and the pay is fantastic. Just only a handful of hours is the problem though. So, here I sit on my hour and a half free time today from 5am - 5pm., watching Kerrang! on my TV and writing a blog. I just spent half an hour trying to get the CD burner on my computer to work, as Winamp kept fucking up.

I was listening to Tool earlier. Lateralus. Everytime I hear that song it makes me think about life in a different way. Then I get pissed off that I never live that way and even though I try, I can't. It's an optimistic view still though. Saying that we should embrace whatever happens to us. It's all adding up to the person we are and will spiral into.

I had loads to write on here now my minds blank because of this fucking disc drive not working. It just won't burn! FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

I don't want to go to Morrisons. But I have to. In 15 minutes, too. :(

So, back to my original reason for posting. After listening to Lateralus, I realised (again) that shit that's happened to me is ultimately good. As it adds to character, or it will lead onto better things in my life. I also need to stop whining about being single, or desperately trying to get a new girlfriend. If I'm single, I'm single and that's the way it is. If I meet someone, and shit goes well. That's how shit's meant to go. I'm sick of thinking about what things WOULD be like. I need to focus on what things ARE like.

I say this though, but I can guarantee that by 5pm something would have happened or I'll have thought of something and I'll go back to whining.

At least I'm not bored all the time now. In fact, the opposite. I'm trying to spend more time on the Xbox with people on Nazi Zombies or something. Get up my gamerscore. It's a nice distraction from reality; which is work, whine, work, sleep.

I can't think of anything else to say, so I'll just say for now a phrase that is stuck in my head: "Forever fades away". A song by Tiger Army. I assume it's referring to a relationship that you believed would last forever, then after time, the idea of "Forever" fades away into a breakup. Fucking cheery ass stuff.

I need to listen to more happy music. Like Tencious D. Or Faith No More. Maybe a bit of Slipknot thrown in there though. ;)

Toodles.