The Dating Game

Last night, I was at a Lostprophets gig. For those of you who know me, you'll know that the only women I would want a relationship with, are people who like similar music to me (It sounds stupid, but think about it; most people get on with each other based on the music they like. It sounds stupid, but I know that all of my closest friends have similar tastes in music to me, bar perhaps 2, or 3. But I don't want to date them). This may seem shallow, or whatever, but it's true. Women at gigs I go to tend to dress in the styles I like, have similar senses of humour to me and also I have something to talk to them about. Anyway, being the Foul Bachelor Frog that I am, I tend to go to these gigs with my mind open to every woman I see, engaging each one in creepy eye contact and desperate attempts at conversation. As a general rule, my nights going to gigs and/or metal bars ends in a low emotional state for me. I never find the person I'm constantly looking for, and as a result, I get depressed and bring down every elses mood, or do something angsty and selfish. And I always reflect on a few things from that night, with a horrible feeling in my stomach, of shame or regret (There was this one time I was at the Phoenix in Coventry, and there was this fucking 8 standing there alone, as her friend (also female) had just gone to the toilet. So this stunner was standing there, looking bored as fuck, sipping her drink slowly and shit. I stood alone of the other side of the room, thinking of going to talk to her, (I wasn't staring and she didn't notice me btw, just so it doesn't sound too creepy.) After 10 minutes, I got the courage to go talk to her, and on my way over, she walks off. Fuck that.

Anyway, last night at the gig, I had nothing like that. At all. And the thing is, something happened which was worse. But I can look at it and laugh now. You know why? Because I've stopped caring. That's the key to happiness; stop caring. Honestly. That shit should be posted on everything everywhere. It should be our national, nay, our global saying "Stop Caring". You know why? Because the more you care, the less happy you are. And what is life without happiness?

So I bet you wanna know what happened? It's not really that interesting... Fine. I'll tell you: It was about midnight, I was coming down the stairs, and I got halfway down. Luke comes out at the top and shouts something to me (I forget what).
Enter really hot girl: "Excuse me"
 Me: "Oh, sorry" *Gets out of way*
*Girl walks past*
Luke: "She wanted you"
Me: *Sarcastically* "Yeah, every girl who ever looks at me wants me."
Girl: *From bottom of stairs* "Wow..."
Me: *To Luke* "She just said "Wow" and looked *REALLY* pissed off"
Girl: "Yeah, because you're a dick!"
*End*

Retrospectively, I should have informed her that she was a pussy and that we should fuck. Oh well... But the thing is, a few months back, that would have *REALLY* gotten to me, like, eaten away at me until I got depressed and had a 12 hour listening session to "The Black Parade" on repeat. But now? It's funny. And I genuinely don't care.

Anyway, prelude over. Let's move onto what this blog is actually about!

So, what is the "Dating Game"? That's easy. It's the ability to pick up women with ease, and a high success rate. People who "play the game" often win, because they know the rules, stick to them and they work.

You know what I say? Fuck the game. I mean, seriously. Fuck the game. (I just lost, also) The game is for those popular, charming, charismatic guys at high school who finished high school with more sexual partners than correct exam questions. The guys with six packs, an extensive internal database of football trivia and BTECS in Mechanics, Plumbing or Building/Construction.

Here's the deal: I'm bitter. I've been single for over two years, I'm alone and I'm fucking bitter about it. I mean, I LOVE my friends, they're amazing. I wouldn't change them. But my friends aren't... well, I can't confide 100% in my friends, I don't have that ONE person to share my life with. To tell everything to, to get excited about seeing, to miss, to love. To hold. All that shit. And you know why I'm bitter? I'll tell you for why:

I am a nice guy, I'm funny, social, romantic... fuck this. I'm not going to become an arrogant prick. I'm not. I just HATE, that I can't "play the game". Not that I'd want to of course, I mean there's very few women who go from man to man to man that I'd actually want a relationship with. But I can't "pick up" women. The problem is the who texting thing, I think. If I like a girl, I'll fucking text her. I'm not ashamed. I'm not going to leave it an hour to not seem desperate. I'm NOT fucking desperate. I just want to find someone who is willing to talk back.

People seem to believe in a set of rules laid out by society, and if the person they're talking to doesn't play be these rules, fuck them. "I can't keep texting him, he's needy". I'm not needy, I just LIKE talking to you, so I'd like to talk to you more. Don't just stop replying because I'm "coming on too strong". I'm NOT coming on too strong, I just LIKE TALKING TO YOU! YOU'RE INTERESTING! For fuck sake women of Earth, take it as a compliment, talk back. Because you know what? That guy who leaves it a few hours before replying, making you want more? Chances are he won't be around in a months time. I will (unless of course when I get to know you, you're not who I thought you were, if that makes sense?) .

I don't know. I'm contradicting myself all over the place and making statements with such gaping logical flaws that even a downs syndrome would spot. I just... God damn it, I wish I could let women realise that I am WORTH getting to know!

What is it about playing this fucking game that works? What am I missing? Why can't I just make women realise who I am without coming across as needy, stalkerish and creepy? I want to be myself. Let me be my self and not have to abide by this painful rules. But instead I need to wait to send a fucking text, not say things like "You're beautiful when you smile like that" or ask for hugs every now and then?

Women of planet earth: I invite you to talk to me, get to fucking know me. Realise that I'm not creepy, I'm not going to rape you, I'm not going to stalk you and I'm not going to cling to you like one of those face-huggers from Alien. I simply think you're interesting and I want to get to know you, and I invite you to get to know me too. For the love of God, don't try to "read between the lines" and stop over-analysing my every word to make things seem more than they are.

And this doesn't just go for me, this goes for every shy guy who starts talking to you, every nerd that doesn't mention sex all the time. If we treat you like a human being and not an object, that doesn't mean we don't want to have sex with you, it just means that it's not out number one priority when it comes to you. I'd happily have a relationship without sex so long as I could have someone to share my life with who cared about me as much as I cared about them. Sex is just a bonus. A magnificent, amazing and fantastic bonus. (Note: I've actually asked a girl on a date before, she said she didn't think of me that way. We're still friends now, and she has a boyfriend who she's happy with and I'm happy she's happy, she deserves it. But a few months ago I asked why she didn't think of me that way, after ages of me thinking it was my physical appearance, she told me it was because I didn't ever mention anything sexual, I was too nice. Talking about movies, gigs, games... shit like that. How weird is that? I fucked up because I was trying NOT to fuck up).

So, there you have it. From here on in, I don't give a fuck about my appearance, I don't believe my weight, my acne or my boring hairstyle has anything to do with anything anymore. It's down to me not knowing how to flirt. And you know what? Fuck that. Audioslave sang "And to be yourself, is all that you can do" - These are words of truth, and I live by them. What you see is what you get, sure. But get to know me, and you'll get to know one of the most genuine, caring, loyal and kind people you'll ever know. I don't keep secrets and I don't hold grudges.

Come at me.